well, today is the point i switch to english, well maybe not right, but i try at least. one thing is that i had two pints of rum and several beers and a horrid piratemade sherry trifole at beffs tonight. that sherry-thingything has got its spirit, more than a bottle of booze into it which made its way.
one thing: do you know when you like somebody, you feel there must be some way to get close, but in the end you are lost, far away from nothing. only bits and bops of nothing in the end. empty hands at all. how can you show that there is more than just saying hello, how r u? here is the big break, the lost of closeness, that something creeping up telling you: go away, i don´t like your company. well maybe there must be a way out of this (says the jump to the thief), but i m as a pirate searching for this way right now.
on the other hand i really love my freedom, just being able to do all the things i desperately love to do. freedom in thoughts, in pathways, lifestyle, in allmost everything. then i find myself caught by freedomcatchment. let them go, let your love go, love never lasts long, not in these days. enjoy your own life, don´t share your dreams, live your dreams.
on christmas-eve i poured a glas of white wine on the grave of sam, he has to have something of this fun. at least he was part of my life, and i will never forget about him.
the next days will be skimountaineering in the tirolean alps, going uphill- blowing downhill, bombing away every bad thought of lonelyness in the big powdery white out.
love, peace, desperate hugs, big grins, loud laughs, quiet hopes, ...
yours captain floggo