Friday, December 30, 2005

up´s and downs

well, today is the point i switch to english, well maybe not right, but i try at least. one thing is that i had two pints of rum and several beers and a horrid piratemade sherry trifole at beffs tonight. that sherry-thingything has got its spirit, more than a bottle of booze into it which made its way.
one thing: do you know when you like somebody, you feel there must be some way to get close, but in the end you are lost, far away from nothing. only bits and bops of nothing in the end. empty hands at all. how can you show that there is more than just saying hello, how r u? here is the big break, the lost of closeness, that something creeping up telling you: go away, i don´t like your company. well maybe there must be a way out of this (says the jump to the thief), but i m as a pirate searching for this way right now.

on the other hand i really love my freedom, just being able to do all the things i desperately love to do. freedom in thoughts, in pathways, lifestyle, in allmost everything. then i find myself caught by freedomcatchment. let them go, let your love go, love never lasts long, not in these days. enjoy your own life, don´t share your dreams, live your dreams.

on christmas-eve i poured a glas of white wine on the grave of sam, he has to have something of this fun. at least he was part of my life, and i will never forget about him.

the next days will be skimountaineering in the tirolean alps, going uphill- blowing downhill, bombing away every bad thought of lonelyness in the big powdery white out.

love, peace, desperate hugs, big grins, loud laughs, quiet hopes, ...
yours captain floggo


G said...

Chin up old chap. This time of year is always one of quiet contemplation, and over indulgance in the finer things of life. To be sure, when I toast in the new year with a fine wee dram of my favourite single malt, I shall be thinking of friends on the mainland, and far off places.

Ginger&Mandarin said...

Our poor, dear FLO! We just wanna say you this to make your thoughts easier going - because there is so much, much more and - for real - IT IS THERE and YOU CAN GET IT!!
So listen... don't think sharing dreams (or more) is lost time - in this point you're quite wrong ... but maybe you don't know it better (can't know it better, yet) you just got an idea.. and maybe you haven't experienced enough and - that's important - long enough - what you're searching and seeking for so so so much! Because time takes you through depths and higths and makes you feel strong and comfy even in just hilly or quite flat aeras!!! So, don't loose your patience, your believing - cause you're PRETTY young & there is so much more time - and love - to come for you. You're just great! - just a creative, lovely, passionated big bear named CAPTAIN FLOGGO - so, we just LOVE and APPRECIATE Y O U and we maybe understand you better - better than you've always/often/sometimes thought...
WE'RE JUST WITH YOU AND WE WISH YOU from the bottoms of our hearts not only just snowy tops - no, we wish you love tops - longlasting ones to trust in!!!
BIG HUGS - Magdalena&Gerhard - Die Weis(s)en aus dem Schottenland ;-)